Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Ask Banshee

Dear Banshee,

My mother helped me pick out a great college and a great grad school. Should I also let her help me pick out a husband?

A Darling Daughter


Dear Darling,

I guess the first thing you need to decide is whether or not your mother has demonstrated skill in husband selecting. If your mother is unwed or married a moron, then perhaps she is not a good person to involve in your husband search. Of course, we all change and grow, so even that is not an automatic disqualifier. However, if your mother is happily married to a man you respect, then she has already proven that she has some skill in spousal selection.

If you are actively looking for a husband, then you would be foolish to disregard the aid of a proven expert. On the other hand, there are some practical limitations to the aid that any third party can provide in a husband search. For one thing, there is the problem of knowing what men are actually looking for wives. Information about colleges and grad schools is available in catalogues. So far, Princeton Review has not put out an eligible bachelor volume. Of course, if your mother lives in your neighborhood, then she might have already compiled her own catalogue of the men in your area. But, the main obstacle to a mother's help is getting the target husband to be interested in you. I'm not sure what your mother can do about that. His mother ... well, that might be a different story. His friends are probably the most useful asset in this department.

Most importantly, though, it has to be your idea. If the whole husband hunt is your mom's idea then it ain't gonna pan out anyway. But if it is your idea, then by all means, take advantage of every resource at your disposal.

~ Wild Banshee

If you have a burning question, please Ask Banshee.