Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Ask Banshee

Dear Banshee,

I figure, when a boy and a girl are "talking" in the preliminary girl-boy stages, there is a tipping point when the guy should realize, "If I ask this girl out, she'll definitely say 'yes'". Or stated another way, lots of guys don't pull the trigger until they believe they have at least a 51% chance of an affirmative response. So tell me Wild Banshee, what are the signs that a girl might give off to signal her arrival at the Tipping Point?

Cautiously Crushing


Dear Crushing,

The first thing you need to understand is that death and taxes are the only two sure things in life. Unless the girl has taken the initiative and actually asked you out, there will probably never be a point where you know that the girl "will definitely say 'yes.'" One strong sign that the girl might be waiting with baited breath for a dinner invite from you is if she has arranged ways for the two of you to be alone in the past. Needing a ride home. Study partners. Stuff like that. If she compliments you, that's another good sign. Touching is also big. No one needs to touch another person's arm when talking.

The 51% rule makes a lot of sense. But, that neglects a very important factor. The big factor you need to consider is how happy you'd be if you are successful. No guts, no glory, right? If you really dig the girl then you gotta take a shot even if you're a little unsure.

So, I've come up with a mathmatical formula to aid in this calculation:

If ... (probablity of success) * (happiness if successful on scale of 1-10) > 2.5 ... then ask her out.

Example: If you have a 50% chance of success but would only rate your happiness at a 4, then the formula would look like this: (.5) * (4) < 2.5. Therefore, don't bother. In contrast, if you only have a 30% chance of success but would rate your happiness at a 10, then you'd end up with a 3 on the left side of the equation. That's greater than 2.5, so go for it.

There is also an excellent online resource that can help you interpret your crush's actions. The Is Your Crush Dateable? quiz was written by renowned social expert, E.G. Violette. This quiz was written primarily for girls, but I think it can still shed some light on the topic.

Good luck,
Wild Banshee

If you have a burning question in your mind, please Ask Banshee.