Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Ask Banshee

Dear Banshee,

It is the first day of summer and I am wondering what to wear. The problem is . . . bathing suits. Is a one piece the most modest? How much cleavage is OK? Should the leg openings be “French cut”? And most importantly, does my age, size and marital status change my options?

Esther Williams Wanna Be


Dear Wanna Be,

Ah ... the bathing suit dilemma. Always a tough one. Basically, there is no stock answer. Suits are as unique as the people who wear them. And each suit looks different on each different person.

But, I can definitively answer your final question. Heck yes, age, size and marital status change your options. This isn't necessarily a modesty issue. It's more of a self-respect issue. I'm gonna go ahead and be blunt. If you are old, fat and wrinkly, wearing a suit that would be immodest on Jessica Simpson would be just gross on you.

As far as the modesty goes ... well, I wish I had some math formula for this. I don't. Here is a guideline: If you would feel weird about your little sister or daughter (or fill in the blank with a female you feel protective of) wearing the suit then it probably ain't good for you to be wearing it, either.

I realize that this was kind of a vague answer. But, in the end, it really does come down to individual body type and attitude. If you look at yourself in the mirror and think, "Whew! I am sure gonna turn the boys on in this number," then you probably need to give yourself a modesty check. You should also consider using the buddy system when selecting a bathing suit. Before making a purchase, ask a close friend or a sister a couple of questions. First, ask, "Do I look gross in this?" If the answer is "no," then ask, "Well then, do I look like a slutty wench?" If you get an honest "no" to that question then you're probably okay.

Hope this helps.

~ Wild Banshee

If you have a burning question on your mind, please Ask Banshee.