Saturday, September 25, 2004


Last week, the two candidates finally reached an agreement on the debate schedule for this campaign season.

The schedule is as follows:

Sept. 30 -- University of Miami (Coral Gables, FL)
Oct. 8 -- Washington University (St. Louis, MO)
Oct. 13 -- Arizona State (Tempe, AZ)

I think debates are overrated. If the public wants to know where the candidates stand on the issues, they can find that out by reading campaign materials on the Internet. I have a unique proposal.

Sept. 30: Go ahead and hold a standard debate at the University of Miami. It's okay to have the candidates answer some live questions in front of a live audience.

Oct. 8: Hold a decathalon at the Horseshoe in Columbus, OH. The winner of the decathalon at the Olympics is usually declared the world's greatest athlete. This event combines running, throwing, jumping. The whole works. This event would test the candidates' strategy, endurance and determination.

Oct. 15: Put the candidates in an octagon ring at the MGM Grand and let them go at it under the rules of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. After all, if you're not tough enough to put the beat-down on your middle aged opponent then you're not tough enough to win a showdown with the terrorists.